Thursday, June 16, 2011


Having felt fairly good this week, I am very bummed to be here again....that place we land when we "crash" from over-exertion.  Two hours at the park yesterday with my kids right after a doctor's appointment?  Something I ate?  Bickering with my husband?  Writing to my lawyer?

Most likely that last one.  It's a doozy.  I sent comments on my notice to file for my formal EEO disability discrimination complaint.  Several months into the process and it still seems sureal. 

But it is very clear to me that my recent improvements have come from a complete seperation from work and finally being isolated from the needless conflict.  Today, though was a bummer....I had to put myself back into that mental space long enough to write out my comments.  And having recieved the notice last week, I've had several days now for those thoughts to creep their way in.  Today was the first day in a while that I couldn't meditate my way through it.  I thnk I was too tired by then, AND I know that drinking even part of a latte was a mistake, for the caustic chemical effects and the crash. 

It was so warm and nice smelling, and I had all of stronger latte earlier this week without much harm.  But today I should have known better.

So here I am.  Blech!

I would love it if tomorrow turned out to be a new day, rather than a continuation of this (pain behind the eyes, headache, monster-sized irritability, neck stomach pain, no other muscle pain....but I'll stop there so I don't jinx the good parts).

This hypnotherapy sample from youtube usually sets me into the perfect place for yoga, more meditation, or moving on with my day.  I love it and it has helped me a lot (though even this clip couldn't really penetrate today).  If it doesn't work, search for "awaythroughcfs" on youtube.

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